Friday, December 11, 2009

I'm applying for a masters in social work. Is this a good introductory paragraph for my personal statement?

As the child of a social worker, I heard a range of nightmarish stories growing up. A cult-abused client threatened my mother鈥檚 life. Body guards protected my mother鈥檚 col-league from bullets in Cabrini Green, the most notorious housing project in Chicago. During my youth I could not comprehend why someone would choose a social worker鈥檚 lifestyle. So it was with unexpected fulfillment that I stumbled upon a path of social work in college. Life has since shown me that not only do I possess many qualities that will help me be successful in a social work career, but I also crave the rewards social work provides.I'm applying for a masters in social work. Is this a good introductory paragraph for my personal statement?
The sentence beginning, So it was with unexpected....is awkward and unclear. Other than that, yes, I think t could work for you.

No comments:

Post a Comment

 
virus protection